Flavor Weapon

Oh my god!

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 08:14:00 -0500

I only just realized (and yes I did read the thing I wrote just before this… well, I wrote it. Anyways) I have a food blog and I posted NOTHING for Thanksgiving! Thank god no one reads this, ‘cause that is a freaking disgrace.

Hello Internet!

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 07:57:00 -0500

How have you been? I won’t lie. I’ve kind of missed you. Like a lot. Even though there are probably only two people who read this that aren’t related to me. I missed you crappy blog, with your irritating system and lack of firefighters with bacon there to hold my hand while I try to figure out why I’m worrying so much about comment boxes when I’m holding the hand of a firefighter with bacon! Ok sorry Internet. I got distracted and then confusing and incoherent. But bacon! Firefighters! With bacon! Sorry, sorry, sorry. Letting it go. Where was I? Oh yeah!

I’m a lazy blogger. Or… well yeah. Lazy blogger. And I also feel kind of bad about the shoddy state of things around here. I’ve been thinking about getting fancy. You know, less blurry photos, weighed ingredients… maybe I’ll even cuss less… ok, maybe not but I could try. But to do this sort of thing right I’m pretty sure that I’d have to do those terrifying cody things with the giberish that turns into techno magic. Ugh. So maybe that’s not happening. And maybe you’re wondering why the heck you’re reading this. I’m not gonna lie, I’m wondering too. I’m not sure I have a point. Ooh, have I told you yet that I have commitment issues? Well really, who doesn’t? But all the same. I was thinking (insert gasps). It’s almost New Years. And there is that whole resolution thing. And I’ve only ever committed to even coming up with a resolution once. There was no way that thing was sticking for 365 days of my life. It just wasn’t gonna happen. But. It’s the eleventh. The eleventh of December. And I can cheat. I can resolve to be a semi decent blogger/human-like being for the short remainder of this year… right?

I made these again (on account of delicious) but with white...

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 05:46:00 -0400

I made these again (on account of delicious) but with white chocolate chips because that’s the only kind Fey likes (yes honey these will be all up in that care package).

http://flavorweapon.tumblr.com/post/104853497/dsc06246-via-homicidaldrifter-i-made-a-half

This time I made a full batch. This is less than half of my...

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 05:43:00 -0400

This time I made a full batch. This is less than half of my dough. Now I know why I hadn’t done… well this.

Buttermilk Raspberry Cake Use this recipe but with delicious...

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 05:40:00 -0400

Buttermilk Raspberry Cake

Use this recipe but with delicious raspberries (also feel free to cut back the sugar by another tbsp): http://flavorweapon.tumblr.com/post/132867752/dsc06376-via-homicidaldrifter-blackberry

I made a pretty design with my raspberries… and then the silly cake rose over most of them. So if you make a design, don’t press the berries into the batter, just lay them on top.

I also had extra berries, which I pressed through a sieve sopped up with cake. Crazy delicious.

Wounded cake. Much easier to kill with my fork! Mwahaha.

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 05:33:00 -0400

Wounded cake. Much easier to kill with my fork! Mwahaha.

Mmm… ominous bread. So ya’ll are gonna get a lot of...

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 05:31:00 -0400

Mmm… ominous bread.

So ya’ll are gonna get a lot of pictures of this french bread and some kaiser rolls, but I’m not going to give you the recipes. Why? A big part of the reason is that it’s past 2 in the morning and I’m both lazy and tired. The even bigger (see? You don’t want me to be writing right now) reason is that Peter Reinhart can tell you how to make these breads so much better than I can. He’s obviously a good teacher and a bit of a bread genius. Pick up one of his books. Really. They’re pretty magnificent. I have The Bread Baker’s Apprentice and am looking for a whole in my budget that needs filling… with more of his cookbooks. That could happen, right? It’s not like I haven’t already spent, like, a third of my pay on them already this week. Have you figured out yet that my impulse control doesn’t really exist?

Anyhoo, give his books a look. They’re worth your time if not your money.

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Thu, 01 Oct 2009 05:21:00 -0400

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Thu, 01 Oct 2009 05:21:00 -0400

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Thu, 01 Oct 2009 05:20:00 -0400

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Thu, 01 Oct 2009 05:20:00 -0400

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Thu, 01 Oct 2009 05:19:00 -0400

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Thu, 01 Oct 2009 05:19:00 -0400

See the thing between the cutting board and the magnificent...

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 05:18:00 -0400

See the thing between the cutting board and the magnificent book? That’s my friend Frank/bench scraper extraordinaire. He keeps dough out of my sink (which sadly does not have a garbage disposal) and helps me clean (can you tell I need the help?) and I shower him with love. He’s one of my favorite and most affordable kitchen tool (hehe) and if you bake you really out to have one. Heck if you chop things you should go get one. Frank was cheap. Like $4.50 cheap. Go shop now.

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Thu, 01 Oct 2009 05:17:00 -0400

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Thu, 01 Oct 2009 05:17:00 -0400

French bread and a kaiser roll.

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 05:04:00 -0400

French bread and a kaiser roll.

Adapted from...

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 04:06:00 -0400

Adapted from http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2009/09/apple-cake-in-an-iron-skillet/, adapted from Sara Moulton (these women are both food goddesses as far as I’m concerned, I adore them).

I had two sticks of butter and a couple of tablespoons of sour cream mixed with salsa to my name when I decided I couldn’t wait another day for this cake. I also just forgot to add the vanilla. I was in a rush on account of my desperate need for cake. And oh my lord was this cake good. Hook your computer up in the kitchen darling, ‘cause you need to make this now!

Preheat oven to 375.

Melt 1 stick of butter in a 9-10 inch cast iron skillet (you can also use any oven safe skillet or start in a pan and move it all to a cake or pie pan once your done carameling. Ooh you could even put it in little ramekins for adorable tiny cakes. Right. Focus. Sorry). Add 1 tbsp less than 1/2 cup of sugar and 4 not giant apples, peeled and cut into about half inch thick wedges. Cook this for about 15 minutes on low heat until it gets caramely.

In the meantime cream together 1 softened stick of butter ( I used salted butter as usual but if you’re using unsalted butter just go ahead and add 1 tsp of salt) with 1/2 cup granulated sugar and 2 tbsp dark brown sugar. Add 2 large eggs, 1 egg yolk, 2 tbsp non fat yogurt and 1 1/2 tbsp half and half. Barely mix in 1 to 1 1/4 cups all purpose flour, 1 1/2 tsp baking powder, 3/4 tsp cinnamon and 1 smallish diced apple.

Gently spread the batter over your caramelized apples and bake for 20-25 minutes or until it looks and smells ridiculously delicious. Turn it out onto a plate and for the love of god eat it warm with some meltylicious ice cream.

So this was dissapointing. And it’s peach ice cream, one...

Tue, 11 Aug 2009 10:13:00 -0400

So this was dissapointing. And it’s peach ice cream, one of the most delightful things in the world. I wouldn’t normally spread my heartache over what should’ve been delicious ice cream but I learned some things with this massive failure. See I was pretty much winging it, which is fun, but doesn’t always work out great. So next time you want to wing it with ice cream, don’t make my mistakes.

1. Heat your milk. No really. 170 F, please. I barely heated mine and I ended up with a grainy mess.

2. Churn in small batches if you can. I seriously over filled my bucket and things got… well not very ice creamy.

3. If you have the time, give this a look: http://www.davidlebovitz.com/archives/2008/07/how_to_make_ice_cream.html.

He’s a bit of a genius when it comes to ice cream.

4. Don’t make peach ice cream with me. I’ll run away at least three times from the memories alone.

That’s right, I’ve got three balls. What’ve...

Tue, 11 Aug 2009 10:01:00 -0400

That’s right, I’ve got three balls. What’ve you got? Huh? Never mind, I really don’t want to know. So I’ll just awkwardly babble about- hey what’s that over there! It’s blueberry ice cream! How convenient.

Adapted from http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2009/07/blackberry-ice-cream-part-deux/

Custard:

Bring 3/4 cups of half and half and a scant 1/2 cup of sugar to a simmer (don’t forget to stir). Temper your hot cream into two beaten egg yolks, whisk, whisk, whisk, transfer the entire mixture back to the pot and cook, stiring constantly until your custard has thickened enough so that when you draw a line through it on the back of a spoon the custard stays separated. Cool. Add 3/4 cups of heavy cream. Chill. Freeze in ice cream machine according to the manufacturer’s instructions as is for a sweet cream ice cream or make tasty tasty blueberry compote for crazy good blueberry ice cream.